


A Star's Light Did Fall

by pandorabox82



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 11:40:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7048186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorabox82/pseuds/pandorabox82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Will leaves her, JJ finds herself going home to Pennsylvania to heal. Will a walk in the woods lead to more than just a way to clear her head?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Star's Light Did Fall

JJ let out a soft sigh as she drove past the old DeVogel place. There were lights on, which intrigued her, since the home had stood empty ever since she had graduated high school. No one had wanted to buy it, since it was so remote, but there was something mysterious and romantic about the place. Or so she had always thought. Now, the mere mention of romance made her curl her lip and she looked up into the rearview mirror, making sure that Henry was still doing okay.

He still didn't understand why Daddy had left them right before Christmas. He was still too young to understand about other women, broken vows, disappointments larger than no dessert. And so, when her mother had offered to let them come home for Christmas, she had jumped at the opportunity.

"Are we almost there, Mommy?"

"Yes, Hen. Just a few more minutes. And look, there's snow on the ground."

"I saw it, Mommy. There's too much of it."

JJ laughed and shook her head, continuing on her way to her mother's home. Pulling in the drive, she saw her mother watching for them from the large picture window in the living room, and she raised a hand to her. Her mother waved in return and JJ parked next to her car before jumping out. Henry hurriedly joined her and began to shiver a little. "Go up on the porch, you'll be out of the wind."

He nodded and ran over, watching her from the relative safety of the porch as she pulled out their bags. Her mother swung open the door and scooped Henry up, hugging him tightly as she gave her daughter a sad smile. "Welcome home, baby."

"Hi, Mom." It felt so good to be welcomed into her mother's loving embrace, to have her tug her into the house and take her bags. "I'm sorry this is so last minute."

"No apologizing. You need this time to heal. How long did your boss give you?"

JJ thought back to her conversation with Cruz and shrugged a little. "He said to take all the time I need. Which will be just about two weeks, since that's all the vacation time I have. Did I see that someone bought the DeVogel place?"

Her mom nodded as she ushered them into the kitchen, pressing mugs of hot chocolate into their hands. "Yeah, back in June. I haven't met the owner yet, they have all their groceries delivered, and never answer the door when I stop by. It worries me more than it should, I think, thanks to your job."

"Mom."

"What? You deal with people like that every day. For all we know, the owner could be a crazy person."

JJ shook her head and sipped at the chocolate, relishing the feel of it sliding down her throat. "Would you mind watching Henry for a little bit? I think I want to take a walk along the path in the woods." What she didn't say was that she was going to check out the DeVogel place herself, since her mother's property abutted it.

Sandy nodded and she gave her mother a tired smile. "Be careful. The path might be a little slippery still."

"I will, Mom." She drained the rest of her mug and set it on the counter before squatting down to Henry's height. "Be good for Grandma, okay?" He nodded solemnly and she smiled a little wider before leaning in and kissing him. "I love you, Hen."

"Love you, too, Mommy." He threw his arms around her and she sighed as she hugged him back, wishing that she could go back and change everything, that she could make everything right. "If you see an angel in the woods, tell her that I'm praying we'll be happy."

Tears prickled her eyes as she nodded. "I will do that, precious." She gave him another kiss before switching out her shoes for boots. Zipping up her coat, she went over to the door and then stepped out into the twilight of the day. The air was still and quiet, and the cold hurt her lungs when she breathed, but it reminded her that she was alive, and that life would go on, despite how she felt.

Tugging on her gloves, she headed back to the familiar path of her youth. It twisted and curved through the woods, and she quickly lost sight of their house. JJ tried not to think of Will, of his infidelity, of every little mistake that they had made, as she walked, and yet she still found tears coursing down her cheeks once more as she lost herself in the beauty of the woods in winter. Then, in the distance, she heard a voice singing. It was familiar to her, yet she couldn't place it, and she paused to listen more closely.

"…how Jesus the savior did come for to die, for poor ornery people like you and like I. I wonder as I wander, out under the sky." As the voice continued on to the second verse, JJ found herself drawn towards it, the bittersweet tone calling to the sorrow in her heart.

Looking around herself with a start, she found that the voice had called her into the back yard of the DeVogel place, and she began to feel a small pit of worry open up in her stomach. If her mother was to be believed, the new owner of the home wanted to be left alone, and she had no right disturbing her solitude. The voice trailed off, replaced with a low hum, and JJ glanced up at the balcony. Light from the great room illuminated the singer, haloing her, and JJ felt her breath sucked from her lungs in a rough sob.

The humming stopped and JJ closed her eyes, turning to go. She hadn't even meant to stay that long. And then, her world stopped turning. "Jennifer?"

The woman on the balcony knew her name, and she stiffened, her hand reaching for the gun that she had left at home, that she had been certain she wouldn't need. "Yes," she said lowly, wondering if this would be the night that she would die. The door to the balcony slammed shut and she tensed up, wondering if she should make for the woods, for the path, and run home.

Before she could decide to flee, though, a hand was reaching out, closing around her upper arm. Slowly, she raised her eyes from the ground, dragging them up the woman's body. The hand that was clasping her arm was attached to a wrist that bore a familiar scar and JJ felt her breathing speed up as she processed the information she was taking in. She didn't want to acknowledge the truth that was screaming out to be heard, but still her eyes traveled up her neck to her chin and then to her eyes. "What are you doing here?" she asked lowly, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy.

"Will, Will left me. I came home to lick my wounds, and found out someone had bought this place. My feet drew me here."

Erin sighed as she nodded. "Follow me."

It was hard to ignore her request, especially when she ran her hand down JJ's arm to clasp her glove-clad hand and tug her along. She stumbled a little, unused to the pace that Erin moved at, so much faster than her vacation mode pace. Erin didn't pause until they were in the great room, and then she was unceremoniously shoved down on the sofa that was in front of the fireplace.

Erin shrugged out of her coat, and JJ got her first good look at the woman. She was dressed in a flowing maxi dress, snow white in color, and her hair was longer than it had been back in May, reaching halfway down her back. Without thinking, JJ took off her own coat and slipped out of her boots, stretching her feet towards the fire. "Only one person knew I was alive and I wanted to keep it that way."

"Who?" she asked before she could stop herself, and Erin turned to look at her.

"David. He was given the opportunity to come with me, to start over in a new life, if only for a short time. He, he, didn't want to. And so I chose not to return. Please, don't breathe a word of my existence to anyone in Quantico."

As JJ watched, a few tears began to slip down her cheeks, and she couldn't help but reach out for her. To her surprise, Erin clasped her hand gently, her thumb moving back and forth as she struggled to regain her composure. "I would never tell your secrets, Erin," she whispered, tugging the woman down onto the sofa next to her.

All fight seemed to drain from her body and JJ let Erin snuggle in close, her head coming to rest on JJ's chest. It was so easy to let her fingers run through Erin's hair as she watched the flames dance and flicker. "I love this place. The Marshal service found it for me, and after I had liquidated my assets, I was able to buy it outright."

"What should I call you?"

Erin sighed a little, her hand worrying JJ's sweater. "I was able to keep my first name. I'm Erin Jacobi now, working on my first manuscript." Her voice had turned sad once more and JJ began to rub her hand up and down Erin's arm. The tears turned to sobs, and Erin buried her face in JJ's sweater, the spot quickly becoming damp.

"What were you singing earlier?" she asked, needing to break the silence that had descended.

"I Wonder As I Wander. It's long been my favorite song."

"That was mentioned in a book I read as a girl…"

" _Jacob Have I Loved_?" JJ nodded. "That book never fails to make me cry. I was always Sara Louise. Let me guess, you identified with Caroline?"

JJ made a low sound of disagreement. "My sister was Caroline. The bright, shining, girl who could do no wrong. And then, she slipped from our lives. Sometimes, it is really hard to be the perfect one." And then, it was JJ's turn to begin crying, her chin tucking into her chest. Erin's embrace tightened, and she welcomed the feel of her arms anchoring her to the sofa.

She felt more than saw Erin lift her face, her nose nudging against the lower edge of her jaw. Her lips were petal soft against her skin and JJ let out a deep sigh as she buried her hand in the woman's long blonde hair, raising her head a little more so that she could claim her lips in a tender, searching, kiss. Erin didn't push her to go further, to deepen things, and for that she was grateful, since she wasn't entirely certain what she was doing in the first place. "I haven't been intimate in so long, Jennifer."

"This is intimate?" she asked, and Erin nodded. "Why?"

"Because you've seen a piece of my soul. If you're to be believed, we're both Sara Louise's, and that binds us together. David, for all his good, was always more a Caroline, if you know what I mean."

"I do." And then, she was kissing Erin once more, gently pressing her back onto the sofa as she deepened the kiss. Like Erin, she had not been intimate in months, and it felt right to commune like this. "Where's your bedroom?" she asked when she finally released Erin from the kiss.

"Upstairs," she said breathily, letting JJ help her up. "But Jennifer, I'm not certain…"

"Neither am I. This could be the worst or best mistake of my life. Besides, you're Erin Jacobi, a stranger to me." A hurt look flashed over her face. "What?"

"I'm not one for random hook ups. If we were to do this, if I were to let you make love with me, I want something more. Something meaningful. I want a connection, not a fuck."

The harsh word startled JJ, focused her, and she nodded. "I think I can give that to you. If you'll let me." There was a slight nod, and she smiled widely at her. "Lead me, then?"

"All right." She clasped JJ's hand and led her up the stairs. JJ made certain to look her fill, not knowing if she'd be allowed back inside the house, if she'd get another chance at this, and Erin seemed to be able to read her mood, tightening her grasp on her hand as she turned them to the left and entered the door at the end of the hall. "This is my favorite room. It was supposed to be the library, but there's comfort in the smell and weight of words."

JJ gasped as Erin turned on the light, revealing the woman's personal heaven. The middle of the room was dominated by a four poster bed, covered in a gauzy canopy. Taking a look around, she saw what Erin meant. The room was floor to ceiling bookshelves, filled with books. "Are these all yours?"

"Some of them. Most of them actually came with the estate. I've found so many hidden treasures of stories here. I wish that I could tell my children, that I could bring them here. I've given up so much, Jennifer."

She filed away that piece of information, determined to do something about it when she went back to Quantico. Matteo owed them both a favor, and she would make certain that Erin's children joining her was exactly that favor. "I know, Erin, I know." Reaching out, she cupped Erin's face, leaning in for a tender kiss. That one naturally led to another, and then another, as Erin began to tug at the hem of JJ's sweater.

Their clothes tumbled to the floor in a pile, and she had just lowered Erin to the bed when her cell phone rang, shattering the moment. As she fished it out of her pocket, she watched as the woman curled her body up into a ball, shutting herself off from JJ. Looking at the display, she saw that it was her mother, and she sighed. "Hey, Mom."

"Honey, Henry's getting worried. Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I actually met the owner of the DeVogel place. Turns out I know her from Quantico."

"That's good. You'd better head home, though. It's starting to snow really hard."

"Really?" She hurried over to the window and looked out. The cold radiating off the window pane stiffened her nipples, and she shuddered a little as she looked outside. "Ooh, I don't think I'll be able to head home in this. I'll just have her run me home in the morning, when we wake up. Tell Henry I'm safe, that his angel is protecting me."

"Jen?"

"I'll explain more tomorrow," she murmured as she turned to look at Erin once more. "I promise. Just, tell Henry that Christmas miracles are real, and that angels can be found where we least expect them. Love you, Mom." Without another word, she hung up, turning the phone off and tossing it carelessly into the plush chair that sat in front of the fireplace.

"Suddenly I'm an angel?" Erin asked as JJ rejoined her on the bed, curving her body to fit Erin's.

"Yes. When I looked up at you singing earlier, you were haloed in light and you just looked so lovely, like a gift sent from Heaven."

Erin kissed her cheek then, before resting her head on JJ's chest. "Would you mind terribly if I asked you to hold off on sex? If I asked you to hold me tonight, and then come back to me before your holiday ends, would you?"

JJ lowered her head and kissed the top of Erin's head while stroking her back in long, gentle, swipes. "Or, I could bring Henry here. He could meet my new friend, Erin Jacobi, who is trying to write a really amazing story."

A tender sigh slipped from Erin's lips as she nodded. "I think that I would like that. I could use a companion."

"So could I." JJ softly lifted Erin's face so that she could kiss her. "And I could really use some of these kisses in my life. If you'll give them to me."

"I will." Erin snuggled in closer and pulled the covers up over them as she began to hum the song that had drawn JJ to her in the first place. "I wonder as I wander, out under the sky." With the song over, JJ found herself drifting off to sleep, her grip on Erin never relaxing. A small part of her didn't want the woman to slip from her life, now that she had found her once more. There would be questions to answer, from everyone, but she would face those when they came. For the moment, it was only them beneath the cold winter sky, sheltering each other from the wind and snow, and she would relish that as long as she could.


End file.
